Chapter on putting a face to the voice

Ok, so have you mastered the previous chapter? Can you hear me now?

No?  Then stop reading now and take time out to start hearing me and writing down what I say to you.

Go back now dickhead and stop reading.  Stop reading now.


You’re still reading aren’t you? You really are a stubborn fuck.

Ok so you do have a bit of power.  But really please try and master the previous chapter.

OK, since you want to carry on let’s get on with this chapter.

Can I ask you what do you think I look like?

You don’t know?

Well let’s start with my voice and work from there.  What does my voice sound like?  Tick the box or boxes that apply to my voice:

High pitched [    ]

Low pitched  [    ]

Gravelly         [    ]

Soft                 [    ]

Hard               [    ]

Chesty            [    ]

Kind               [    ]

Mean              [    ]

Male               [    ]

Female           [    ]

Growly           [    ]

Other (specify here:____________________________)

So now you know what my voice sounds like.  What face can you put to that voice?

Get a piece of paper and draw me please. Or if you can’t draw sit back, close your eyes and think really hard about what I look like.  When the right image comes in to your brain I will let you know.  You’ll know the right image as you will hear and see me sing:

“It’s this one dickhead”

You might or might not recognise my face.  But don’t get too startled by my face or hung up about who it is.  It’s just me, a.k.a. you. OK?

Once you know what I look like and sound like me and you can really start to get to know each other.

It’s so important that you put a face to the voice.  Remember when you may have only emailed or spoken to someone on the phone and you get to meet them for the first time? They’re never how you imagined them to be, are they? Funny that.

So are you getting to know me a bit better? I hope so.  You know my voice, my face and you certainly know my personality. So the next step now is to start talking to me. Sounds a bit radical doesn’t it? Wanna talk to me? I want to talk to you.  Like I said, it’s been getting so boring watching you follow my every command.  I like a challenge.